World upside down

  • The Mayans may peg the end of the world for 2012, but the pop culture apocalypse  seems to be here today.

    I don’t know about you, but I’m perplexed by the recent events in the world of entertainment. NBC doesn’t know what to do about Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien. "Spider-man" is getting a "gritty" reboot. Simon Cowell is leaving "American Idol." And Sarah Palin is joining Fox News.

    Actually, that last one makes perfect sense.

    Let’s digest this one by one, shall we?

    Conan and Crappy Leno I don’t know what to make of the whole Leno-O’Brien thing, especially since new developments seem to come in every hour. Conan is the more talented performer, and I respect how he rejected the proposed "Tonight Show" move to 12:05 a.m. (might as well call it the "Early Today Show").

    I say cut Leno loose, and give Conan a real chance in the 11:35 timeslot. Seems sort of obvious to me, but I’m no network executive. By the time this article runs, those guys will probably switch the timeslots three more times.

    Spiderman 4 Shut Down Perhaps stranger than the Late Night TV debacle, Sony Pictures announced the cancellation of "Spider-man 4," with director Sam Raimi and star Tobey Maguire leaving the franchise for good.

    While it’s not a big surprise for the millions of people unhappy with "Spider-man 3," the fourth installment was previously set to start shooting as early as next month. Script conflicts prompted the cancellation, and now Sony is planning a "modern, gritty" reboot to the franchise pegged for 2012.

    I call blasphemy!

    Sorry to geek out, but "Spider-man" isn’t supposed to be gritty. This is the superhero who cracks one-liners while fighting literal villains like Shocker and a guy dressed in a rhinoceros suit.

    And what exactly do they mean when they say, "a modern reboot"? Raimi’s "Spider-man" films aren’t explicitly set in present day, but they aren’t period pieces, either.

    Not everything needs a "Batman Begins"-style reboot. We have too many of those coming out already. Go ahead and do a "Spider-man 4" with a different cast. I don’t want to see Peter Parker get bit by another stupid radioactive spider.

    image Then we have Simon Cowell leaving "American Idol." Next year. What will America’s favorite show do without that British crank who counts stretching the pronunciation of "horrendous" as an insightful critique?

    While I’m interested to see how new judge Ellen DeGeneres does this year, I don’t really care if any of them continue into future seasons. This show seems played out, and I’d rather focus on the final season of something that’s actually good: "Lost" returns to ABC on Feb. 2.

    Even my beloved "Lost" entered into a strange bit of recent entertainment controversy. ABC actually got President Obama to move his State of the Union address to another day so as not to interrupt the "Lost" season premiere. Not even the leader of the free world can stop that creepy smoke monster.

    My brain hurts from all this pop culture excitement. I need to go home, relax and indulge in something consistent. Something I know will be here forever. "Oprah" usually does the trick.

    Wait, what happened?