“No More Pull-Ups.”

“Nice.”

These are the final lines of dialogue from “2012,” the mother of all disaster movies. Something like six billion people die in the movie, but gosh darnit, those cute kids and the lovable pooch make it safely to Noah’s Ark 2: Apocalyptic Boogaloo.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d much rather watch this 150 minute pile of absurdity than any minute of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” I just think it’s hilarious that on Oscar weekend, a time to celebrate the best of what the movie industry can offer, the #1 DVD rental in all the land will be a movie about the coolness of natural disasters. Maybe let Haiti skip this one for a while.

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Everyone else can love it, but the mega-blockbuster “Avatar” is certainly NOT one of my favorite movies of 2009.

James Cameron’s science-fiction epic continues to shatter box office records, and three weeks after its worldwide release, word of mouth seems to be stronger than ever. Critics have gushed over it, and many consider it to be the front runner in this year’s expanded Best Picture race at the Academy Awards.

To all of this, I say, “Eh.”

I’m not here to bash the popular kid. I’ll give “Avatar” the credit it deserves in that it’s easily the most spectacular looking movie I’ve ever seen. The special effects are seamless, and the motion-capture animation is revolutionary and realistic. Gollum in “Lord of the Rings” is nothing compared to the subtle performance by Zoe Saldana as Na’vi warrior Neytiri.

The problem is everything else.

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